We know the urge for dominance has been the major cause of problems in our society. ‘Most people live out their lives in the negative I’m Not OK – You’re OK and this has been one of the factors that helped built the ground work for this urge for dominance, according to Psychiatrist Dr. Thomas A. Harris (1910 –1995). He added that this negativity has also made us to be greedy, lustful and materialistic.
Even if we have more than what others have we will still feel insecure and this insecurity pushes us to strive for more even if the need does not arise. In fact, jealousy, lust and greed are bred by this insecurity.
Dr. Thomas A. Harris in his famous book ‘I’m OK—You’re OK’ published in 1969 said that “most people live out their lives in the negative “I’m Not OK – You’re OK” state, leading to dysfunctional emotional reactions towards the people around you”.
It is said that Dr Thomas A Harris was inspired by Canadian-born psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne’s theories of Transactional Analysis and the outcome was the authoring of I’m OK – You’re OK. Dr. Eric Berne’s book Games People Play was published in 1964, five years before the publication of Dr Harris’ book.
According to Dr Thomas A Harris, as long as we adopt such mindset we can never be happy. He advises the people through this classic book to allow all people to adopt the ideal “I’m OK – You’re OK” mindset. “Being OK with yourself and with others is the way to happiness, personal satisfaction, and good relationships”, Dr Thomas Harris advised.
To interpret a bit of this case, when you say “I’m not OK—You’re OK” it should also to mean that you are responsible for my problems and hence the conflicts. And when you said “I’m OK—You’re OK” it is also to say that ‘when we wish good for others, we will get good too and if we wish ill for others we will get ill for ourselves.’
