In the month of May we all observed the Mothers’ Day. The mothers deserve to be remembered although all the mothers are not same. Recently, an exclusive story was flashed in local media about a mother who physically tortured her child with cut marks on the physique of the child. Many mothers do destroy and whereas many mothers do build.
There are mothers who efficiently manage the overloaded responsibilities with deft and perseverance. There is a mother who is the mother of her children, the wife of her husband, the
daughter-in-law of husband’s relatives, the daughter of her parents, the bullock cart of the family, the power tiller for family fields, the sweeper in the house, the washing machine for the family and of all, the underfed maid servant of the family. Despite of the endless tasks to be tackled singlehandedly from dawn to dusk, many mothers are used like dustbin. She is blamed and fired by both her husband and children for un-tasty curry, burn or overcooked rice, children not getting readied for school on time, not polishing husband’s shoes, misplacing the husband’s important paper and other accessories, the marked garment is found dirty when about to dress, shortage of money and eatables, etc. etc. After all it is the destiny that many women get married to be mistreated worst than lucky dogs, owned by animal lovers, by their husbands, children and the relatives of their husbands. For those suffering mothers, marriage was initially thought to be paradise but discovered hell in paradise.The luckier wives are treated like queens by their husbands. Many mothers in this category are pampered and tend to retrogress from maturity to childishness. Many mothers find the income of their husbands too meagre to make both ends meet. Many mothers either fail or grudgingly give their tithes and other contributions for social services since their priorities are golden chains, rings and earrings, costly dresses, expensive bags, expensive junk foods, costly imported foods, and cell phones for family members. The dresses and make up of many mothers fail to commensurate contributions to church and society.
Many mothers are frivolous and spendthrift for their families but remain stingy and heartless for the sick and needy of the relatives.
Many mothers are experts in manufacturing excuses and are slyly evasive when to respond to social callings. In other words, those mothers are made for themselves and not for others.
Nevertheless, mothers deserve to be respected and loved. Particularly those suffering and sacrificing mothers are to be honoured as deserved. The family survives, the church survives and the society survives because of their contributions and ceaseless prayers. May God bless them.
Now, here comes the annual Fathers’ Day on 19th June 2016. Personally
speaking, I am an ungrateful son, worthless husband, unsuccessful father and visionless grandfather. Once again, I will be made to introspect my history of failures in my responsibilities on receipt of
gifts and greetings from wife, children, relatives and the church.
Yet, the Op-Ed, the Public Discourse or Post mortem will not be adequate enough to record my data of failures except that I do not feel deserve to be remembered as a father. Perhaps I am not alone.
Nonetheless, there are fathers whose sacrifices and contributions to families and society are spectacular and notable to emulate. These fathers deserve respect not only from their families but from others who know them. May God bless them too.
However, when the Fathers’ Day comes, I always tend to feel something amiss in discomfort. The question is, are mothers and fathers alone deserved to be remembered? When people observe Hand washing and Menstrual days, what about Widowers, Widows and orphanage days. When I
observe the Mothers’ day, I tend to feel for those who have no mothers, who have no wives and particularly those who had never seen their mothers or can never know by whom they were born. When Fathers’ day is observed, I tend to lack the gut to look the congregation around me for fear of seeing someone’s eyes filled with tears for reasons I cannot comprehend. Had or should the days be observed for Widowers, Widows and orphans one can feel compensated, but it is not.
While observing my day by my church giving me gift, presenting special songs for me, praying by congregation for me and the speaker exhorting the wives and children to be respectful and loyal to fathers, I feel salt is rubbed to the heart wound of the forgotten section, namely, widowers, widows and orphans. I feel guilty that I never reciprocated to the orphans, the widowers and the widows who had prayed for me time and again. I feel embarrassed that out of the tithes and offerings
from this forgotten section my gift was purchased and I never give anything to anyone of them in return. I feel as though my day is observed to send forth a grind reminder of the forgotten old stories to the one who lost his dearest wife, her sole bread earner husband, his/her beloved mother/father or both. The moment the program for my day is announced in advance, the widows and fatherless are reminded that the saddest day for them is approaching. I am sure my day has
locked up the fatherless and the husbandless in the closet homes to mourn for their dearest ones. Yes, why should they come to service to look for the one who would not be among those standing to be prayed for or be giving gifts.
We all know that Anna Jarvis founded the Mothers’ Day. Also, we came to know that Elmesu prepared a message in memory of his father on a clay card some 4000 years ago followed by Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane initiated modern Fathers’ Day. Will there be Spokane Ministerial Association and Young Men’s Christian Association(YMCA) somewhere in Nagaland to give due respect to the Orphans, Widows and Widowers in the land for Christ? Shall we continue to receive prayers and gifts
from them but not a gift or an exclusive prayer of ours for them? May God bless the downtrodden and neglected section.
Z. Lohe
