This week’s Truth Speakers for Truth Seekers column is about the path of righteousness and the difference between self-confidence and self-righteousness.
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The opening question for you today is: How is it going for you to be thinking critically and how are your thoughts guiding you this week?
Last week the topic was critical thinking versus criticism. The week before it was the question of what is guiding you. By now, it is my hope you have realised that what guides you are the very thoughts you carry and allow your mind to be occupied with.
We can be guided by thoughts that come from the right source or the wrong source. The path of righteousness and the path of self righteousness are opposite paths although the only difference in that word is “self”. Let’s examine these two terms a bit further.
We might think we were walking the path of righteousness. We might have defended our “right” opinion so strong we did not even realise how unloving we presented it. We are wanting to be so right instead of being open to the possibility we might be mistaken, is a good indicator we are on the wrong path. We all have probably been guilty of it. After we examine it a bit more let’s decide to walk the path of righteousness and become aware of the times we are walking on that ugly unloving path of self righteousness.
So what is so bad about it you might say? What is wrong with being proud? To tell your children, colleagues or loved ones you are proud of them is a good thing because you are showing you have noticed what they have accomplished. To be proud of oneself and then loudly boast about it, making others feel they are way below you, is being self righteous. God hates it. It is one of the seven abominations (strong dislikes). He condemns. Actually, the first one He does strongly judges. It was the very reason God kicked satan--who became his enemy because of pride--out of heaven.
Is self righteousness that bad? If so what do we do? We repent! We examine where and with who we have been self righteous, making them feel worthless. And we quickly start walking the path of righteousness and love, apologise and move in the right direction. After reading what it leads to and what it does to yourself and others, you probably will want to start walking the opposite direction.
The people you say you appreciated but in your words were condemning, please recognise who and quickly make up before you lose a good friend.
What does it mean to be self-righteous and where does its path lead to? According to the Cambridge dictionary it means: the quality of believing that your ideas and behaviour are morally better than those of other people:
Another dictionary says: It is having or showing a strong belief that your own actions, opinions, etc., are right and other people's are wrong. Often expressed in a self-righteous tone.
The consequence of self-righteousness
It can be very damaging to both personal relationships and professional relationships. It can be hard to work with or associate with someone who is always so sure of themselves and their beliefs. Self-righteousness is not a positive quality.
Characteristics of Self-Righteous Individuals
- Scrutinise and judge others—especially by their external appearances and actions, ignoring their inner character and integrity.
- Are convinced they are right or morally superior to those who are different from them.
- Refuse to admit their own mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings.
- Judgmental Attitude: A tendency to judge others harshly for differing beliefs or behaviours.
- Lack of Empathy: Difficulty in understanding or valuing the perspectives of others.
- Rigidity: Inflexibility in thinking and resistance to new ideas.
Difference between Self-Confidence and Self-Righteousness
A significant amount of research suggests that self-confidence is strongly related to mental health. Self-confidence breeds self-esteem and self-efficacy, motivating healthy action that fosters growth and improved relationships. Nathanial Branden defines self-esteem as having confidence in “our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts” (Branden, 1995).
Self-righteousness is the ugly cousin of self-confidence. Horney explains: “Neurotic pride is by comparison unsubstantial, and it is based on entirely different factors, all of which belong to or support the glorified version of oneself” (Horney, 1950).
Basically, self-confidence refers to a healthy belief in one’s abilities and judgment, improving an individual’s ability to navigate challenges. A self-confident individual is not threatened by the wisdom and intelligence of others, they relish the opportunity to draw upon the resources of others, remaining open to feedback and differing perspectives.
In contrast, self-righteousness involves an inflated sense of moral superiority that dismisses alternative viewpoints and often leads to judgmental behavior towards others, reflecting insecurity rather than genuine confidence. Accordingly, these self-righteous attitudes interfere with growth rather than promote it.
Self-Righteousness and Insecurity
Self-righteousness is often rooted in insecurity, expressing fear of open discussion and external influence. Les Carter explains that, a loud and insensitive brand of assertiveness is indicative of “both a deep insecurity and an illusion that he could and should control the minds of those who dared to disagree with him” (Carter, 2009). Rollo May adds to this discussion that self-inflation and conceit are “generally the external signs of inner emptiness and self-doubt; a show of pride is one of the most common covers for anxiety” (May, 2009).
The rigidness associated with self-righteousness helps protect against complexity, accordingly it creates a life that increasingly departs from reality. In order to keep the charade going, the self-righteous depend on a growing structure of self-deceptions. This departure from reality contributes to the development of a variety of personality disorders. Consequently, many who are self-righteous may genuinely believe they possess superior moral insights while remaining blind to their biases or shortcomings.
Righteousness is moral rightness and acceptability, especially before God. It points to a person's holiness and purity in heart and action. Self-righteousness, then, is a righteousness that comes from someone's own goodness and work. As Christians, we completely rely on Jesus' righteousness, not our own.
A "self-righteous Job" refers to the biblical figure Job, who, despite being righteous, became self-centered and overly defensive of his own perceived innocence during his suffering, insisting his righteousness was superior to God's justice, a pride that God challenged, leading Job to repent and see his limited understanding compared to God's divine perspective. This concept highlights the human tendency to trust in personal moral standing rather than God's mercy, a trait that religious teachings often contrast with true humility.
Next week we will examine the beautiful fruit of righteousness. This week, start recognising who got hurt by your self-righteousness. Do something nice for them instead and appreciate them for what they have contributed in your life.
Cheers to a beautiful week of starting to walk in the path of righteousness. The first step is simply recognising that what you thought of was “just being right”, was actually leading to destroying your relationship with them. A self righteous person always loses.
Be a winner. Encourage and appreciate genuinely. And win friends easily and quickly the right way.
And enjoy doing so even if it hurts a bit to start with.
Blessings
Akhrienuo