When success is reduced to academic achievement, job titles and income brackets; vital dimensions of life such as wellbeing, relationships, creativity and self-discovery are sidelined.
Benjamin Khasouso
Success: Who Defines It?
When 14-year-old James (name changed), a Class 9 student in Dimapur, Nagaland, was asked what he aspired to be, he replied confidently: “A bank manager.” His role model was his uncle Paul, celebrated in his village for rising from poverty to a respectable job in a bank. Paul supported his siblings’ education, gained social standing, and achieved material prosperity. Yet, beneath this image of success lay a troubling truth. Struggling with dependence on alcohol and lacking fulfilment, Paul eventually abandoned his career in search of peace. His story reminds us that financial or professional success does not always translate into happiness.
Yet, such stories are often presented as the standard template of success. Young people are encouraged, sometimes pressured, to emulate them, equating success with high marks, prestigious jobs and material wealth. But at what cost?
The Hidden Costs of a Narrow Definition
When success is reduced to academic achievement, job titles and income brackets; vital dimensions of life such as wellbeing, relationships, creativity and self-discovery are sidelined. This narrow vision exerts immense pressure on young people, fueling stress, anxiety and low self-worth when they fail to meet expectations.
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A 2025 study by Yarmongla & Vinoth S on academic stress faced by college students in Dimapur found that academic stress stems largely from external expectations, including parents, teachers, peers and society. This pressure often results in identity crises and plummeting self-esteem. The consequences can also be tragic. A 2025 comparative study of demographic and situational factors in suicide trends among Indian Institutes of Technology Joint Entrance Examination (IIT JEE) and National Eligibility cum Entrance Test (NEET) aspirants reported that 33 IIT JEE and NEET aspirants died by suicide in 2023, and 17 in 2024. Fear of failure is consistently cited as a major cause. Another study by K M Berendri in 2023 on competitive exams and its impacts on students’ mental health in India reiterated that the pressure to live up to rigid definitions of success is, quite literally, costing lives.
Individuality also suffers. When success is defined by a one-size-fits-all formula, unconventional yet valuable paths are stifled. Talented, compassionate or creative young people may be overlooked simply because their gifts do not align with academic or corporate ideals. In Nagaland, where community ties through clans, churches and age groups shape identity, such pressures are amplified. While these bonds foster belonging, they can also heighten the fear of letting down one’s family or village, forcing young people to suppress their true aspirations.
Does the Onus to Succeed Lie Solely with Young People?
The narrative that hard work alone guarantees success ignores systemic inequalities. According to the India National Multidimensional Poverty Index Progress Review (2023), 15.43% of Nagaland’s population is multidimensionally poor, higher than the national average. Gaps are stark across districts: Tuensang records nearly 30% poverty, while Kohima stands at 6.5%.
Urban centres like Dimapur and Kohima offer better education and career opportunities, prompting many parents to send children away from home. But adapting to new environments without parental support makes navigating adolescence harder. Meanwhile, children engaged in labour, those from dysfunctional families, or those with disabilities face even steeper barriers. Without equitable access to quality education, mentorship or mental health support, their chances of meeting conventional success shrink dramatically.
A Call to Reimagine Success
What if success was defined differently? What if we celebrated young people who show resilience in the face of loss, who demonstrate compassion for others, or dreams of serving their community rather than securing a large salary?
Education should not be a race to the top but a journey inward and outward, helping young people discover who they are, what they value and how to navigate a complex world. Life skills, empathy, creativity and critical thinking must be valued alongside academic performance.
Parents, educators and community leaders have a role to play in broadening this vision. We can:
Celebrate diverse achievements: Consciously recognise qualities such as courage, kindness, creativity and leadership, expanding the definition of success.
Promote open conversations: Encourage honest discussions about interests, wellbeing and life choices at home, in schools, among peers and within churches, normalising diverse paths to thriving.
Invest in life skills and Social Emotional Learning (SEL): Schools can help children build emotional literacy and self-awareness, enabling them to navigate challenges more effectively.
Adopt holistic student assessment: Acknowledging and embracing non-academic aspect of students’ learning in assessment (in line with NEP 2020 recommendation for 360-degree report card) like creativity, teamwork, leadership, empathy, etc. can enhance their self-esteem, confidence and guide them to navigate better in life’s uncertainties.
Address systemic barriers to success: At the policy level, there must be investment in equity and inclusion, as well as professional development for teachers to create safe, unbiased spaces where diversity is celebrated.
By reimagining success, we empower young people to define it for themselves, on their terms, at their pace and in alignment with their true selves. In doing so, we empower not just successful individuals but a healthier, more compassionate society. A society that values resilience, kindness and fulfilment alongside financial security is one where all young people can truly thrive.
(The writer is the Associate Lead, System Demonstration at Dream a Dream. Based in Nagaland, he works closely with the Directorate of School Education to integrate Social Emotional Learning (SEL) into 176 government schools across the state)