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Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you – David McCullough Jr.
Academic journey has never been too easy for me. As a person who was raised in a rather sedentary lifestyle, it was difficult to identify my strengths as I grew up. As such, the luxury to hone an identity of what makes one set apart from the rest is not on everyone’s watch. As years passed, the criterion of being ‘a snapback hat that fits all sizes’ somewhere took a toll on my mental well-being and on top of that I was a shy person who seldom expressed due to the burden of judgements shaped by limited human interactions in the past. The personal insecurities were slowly taking the driver’s seat and it was much evident when I reached university. I thought I should have figured things out sooner; that it was too late for me to compete with my already competent classmates. Along with that, I was an outsider who came to study in Gauhati – the new environment initially petrified me. It took me some time but I eventually figured out that I was not the only one who struggled to find the tandem between studies and a crippling social life. Indeed, there are answers to look around if we try harder. The ancient adage, ‘Where there is a will, there is a way’ remains timeless. As I fall back to the genesis of my experiences that shaped me, I would like to share some of them to break the suspense of a person who feels overwhelmed that the world is too heavy and they struggle to see past the fog of uncertainty in a world where everyone appears to be perfect.
Gauhati University campus
Truth is, it is never too late: The very idea that we should be finding our passions sooner is a myth. When you intentionally channel your mind to find where your strengths are, chances are you would burn yourself out. It is nice to have dreams carried from childhood, it is nicer to have changes in it and it is also equally nicer to take time finding them if you haven’t. Your passion doesn’t have to be something that will put you in the news. Trying out new endeavours helps a lot and in all honesty, it could be as simple as taking out a pen and writing a poem, trying to learn a new language or cooking a dish you just learnt from YouTube.
Allow yourself to be embarrassed: Seriously, this mantra is such an eye-opener. Imagine you fast-forwarded your life to 60 years and you are surrounded by your grandchildren. They wait for you to recap some of the wildest stories you got in your memory archives. What would that be? The first stage fright, the expelled scenes from the classes for deliberately speaking a wrong answer or how you were completely oblivious before your first test? Life is fun when you allow yourself to be fully you and for the most part being a flawed human.
Everyone is fighting silent battles: It is easy for us to consider we are lacking behind but remember even the most intelligent people undergo a moment of self-doubt. The sporadic reminders of ‘You aren’t meant for this’, ‘you can’t go on anymore’ and ‘you don’t have the energy’ are natural impulses. Without them we will be considered less eligible to be a part of the human race. You must thank it for its opinion and move ahead and understand that just like you, no matter how confident one appears, everyone faces the turmoil of being imperfect. Understand that your competition is always with yourself and not with others.
Communicate more often: It is always okay to use a little help when the world comes crashing down on you. How? By a bold act of expressing your vulnerabilities and communicating what are the things that are holding you hostage in your thoughts. Trust me, it makes you achieve clarity when you are exposed to new viewpoints. It also equally demonstrates self-awareness and a willingness to learn and grow. By reaching out for support from people we trust even if it is just one person, we build stronger relationships, fostering trust and connection. Embrace a little risk to take into account that not everyone tries to exploit you.
Practice mindfulness in solitary: Most people distract themselves by subconscious means like scrolling the phone, watching TV, fidgeting around or napping when they find themselves alone, all consumed by their raw selves. People are uncomfortable being around with their own selves for an extended period of time. In reality, it is the only time when you begin to understand and have a heart-to-heart with those parts of yourself that you always ignored and left in shadows because you were too scared to face them. People who struggle with negative self-talk, it is through these confining chambers of loneliness where they slowly start to accept themselves for who they are. It is easier said than done but it is indeed a revolutionary step to self-discovery because as Oscar Wilde quotes, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”.
Extrapolation: Consider you take a short nap in the afternoon and wake up early in the evening to your studies but instead of committing to that regime, you decide to check out your phone for another two hours but at the same time you keep stressing about the eventual loss of time that follows yet you keep doing it. This exact phenomenon is known as ‘extrapolation’. It is that tendency to naturally assume that you cannot get out of that vicious cycle of being slouchy and that all hopes are in vain. Extrapolation is nothing but a cognitive bias and you can break it whenever you feel like it is affecting you. Believe that it is all a brain chemistry that can be altered with your interference.
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel positive: Trying to chase a positive experience is actually a negative experience. When we consciously try to impose our expectations on things we have no control over, we are bound to be disappointed because you see, life doesn’t work that way. It is not streamlined, it is meandered. So always try to be welcoming to new experiences, be open to revise your views and comfortable in being spontaneous.
These are some of the few moments of truth that I had learnt in the passage of time. Implying them to practice can be a little hard in the beginning but it is never impossible. So my fellow mates, life isn’t that hard as we make it appear. It is the conceptual framework of societal expectations and norms that sometimes dictates our individualities. Let us pause for a while and celebrate ‘us’ without second guesses. Always remember, no matter where life pits you against, whether it be an academic life, working life or any other life, the epiphany is always evident along the way. It is the inevitable wisdom to tell yourselves that everyone has their headlights on and the mist that is ahead of you shall clear slowly with time.
Arunabh Hazarika
MA 4th Semester,
Department of English,
Gauhati University.