SUNDAY, MAY 18, 2025
Jealousy: The Illness No Medicine Can Heal
Published on May 11, 2025
By EMN
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- Jealousy is one of humanity’s oldest diseases. It is the illness of an unhealed heart – a silent killer. It poisons our thoughts and corrodes our well-being. Cain was jealous when God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected his. And what was the result? The outcome was diabolical – he killed his brother and became a cursed, restless wanderer. Joseph’s brothers were jealous because their father loved him most and he shared dreams that placed him above them. King Saul was jealous of David’s popularity and military victories. Rachel envied Leah for bearing children. The chief priests and elders handed Jesus over to Pontius Pilate to be crucified because they were jealous of his popularity, authority and influence among the people (Matthew 27:18). In all these cases, jealousy arose when others succeeded. This is paradoxical and even tragic—why should another’s success feel like our failure? It is evident today that many conflicts and problems arise from the grip of jealousy. Why is jealousy so prevalent in our lives?
- In Christian theology, jealousy often springs from pride and idolatry. We become jealous when we feel entitled to something we don’t have, or when we make something (status, beauty, attention) into a false god. John Stott said, “Nobody is ever envious of others who is not first proud of himself.” According to C.S. Lewis, pride feeds jealousy because it thrives on comparison. He said, "Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” Jealousy is born when we deeply want but don’t have—success, intimacy, recognition, etc. Seeing others have it can stir longing and dissatisfaction with our own lives. When your coworkers get promoted, you get jealous not just because they succeeded, but because you feel stuck and unrecognised.
- From a philosophical view, French philosopher René Girard proposed that we often desire things not because of their intrinsic value, but because others desire them. We imitate others’ desires, and this leads to rivalry and jealousy. We don’t just want a thing—we want to be like or better than the one who has it. This makes jealousy a product of social comparison and imitation. Jealousy arises from our tendency to imitate the desires of others, not from genuine personal need.
- From a psychological standpoint, jealousy often arises when we feel our self-esteem is under threat or when a close relationship feels endangered. For example, in attachment theory, people with anxious attachment styles are more prone to jealousy because they fear abandonment. Jealousy is thus a way the mind tries to protect personal bonds and identity.
- Jealousy also arises when there is fear of loss or relational insecurity. We often feel jealous when we fear losing someone’s attention, affection, or loyalty—whether in romantic, familial, or social contexts. This can be tied to past experiences of abandonment or betrayal. For example, you might feel jealous when a friend grows closer to someone else, fearing they will leave you behind.
- We also get jealous when we think there is a sense of injustice or entitlement. Jealousy is triggered when we feel someone doesn’t deserve what they have, especially if we believe we’ve worked harder or lived more rightly. Certain people ask, “Why did they get the opportunity when I’ve done everything right?”
- It is said that jealousy can creep in when we have low self-esteem or insecurity. People who don’t feel secure in themselves—who struggle with self-worth—are more likely to experience jealousy. The success or happiness of others can feel like a personal failure. For example, seeing someone who is confident or attractive may provoke jealousy if you feel inadequate by comparison. In competitive and comparison-driven cultures, jealousy is often heightened. We are bombarded with images and messages that tell us what we should have, look like, or achieve. This cultural pressure creates status anxiety—and jealousy follows.
- Ultimately, jealousy is a matter of the heart. The Bible teaches that evil thoughts come from within (Matthew 15:19). It is listed as a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). Sadly, even within Christian ministry, jealousy can thrive. I think jealousy is surprisingly common among Christian ministers and leaders, yet unlike other sins, it is often overlooked and not taken seriously as a moral failing. A preacher may condemn sins like drunkenness, theft, or adultery—but quietly harbor jealousy toward another minister who is more regarded and recognised. Jealousy may appear less severe than other sins, but in God’s eyes, it is equally destructive and offensive. The inability to rejoice in the blessings of others reveals a heart without love.
- You may argue that you rejoice and celebrate when others succeed, but it is quite challenging. Here is the true test. Some may find it easy to rejoice when their own family members, relatives and clan members succeed. But when individuals from other clans do better, sadness and resentment begin to creep in. Many may gladly celebrate when their village prospers; yet feel jealous when neighboring villages achieve more. Some might take pride in the accomplishments of their own tribe, but the real test and challenge comes when other tribes excel beyond them.
- To overcome jealousy, we need the presence of God in our lives. If we truly know Him and His Spirit dwells within us, we can genuinely celebrate the success of others—even when they surpass us. We will be free from jealousy only when we know the true purpose of life on earth—that is, to know God, to love Him, to worship Him, to walk in relationship with Him, and to live for His glory. When our highest aim is the glory of God and the advancement of His Kingdom, we can rejoice in every good thing that happens in this world and in human lives. Our joy becomes rooted not in comparison, but in the recognition that all good ultimately brings glory to God.
- Jealousy is a deep-rooted illness—but it can be healed. Not with medicine, but with the presence of the Creator who formed our hearts. When God lives in us, He heals what’s broken. And a healed heart has no room for jealousy. So, to cultivate a heart that is good and pure, we must come to the One who alone possesses a clean and undefiled heart—that is, God Himself. Only when He truly dwells within us can we delight in the goodness and success of others.
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- Liba Hopeson
Nagaland Districts
