By Dr. Salikyu Sangtam, Tetso College (EMN)
No society is flawless. It is the existence of problems that makes societies ‘a society.’ It is good to ruminate on aliments that afflict one’s society and how best to go about solving them. Yet, at the same time, it is also essential not to excessively dwell on the infirmities as these distract us from appreciating the basic essentialities of human existence: finding joy, happiness, meaning, and purpose to one’s life.
Certainly, there are existential realities of life—such as earning a living to feed and provide shelter for one’s family, to provide education for the children, and, the most important of them all, to make ends meet—which we cannot disregard, especially in society such as ours. After all, everyone is, understandably so, absorbed in procuring security for oneself as well as for one’s own family. These realities exerting on us every day divert us away from refining our own humanity. That is cultivating one’s higher nature, such as kindness, selflessness, honesty, sympathy, compassion, understanding, virtuous, and so forth. Of course, this is not to say that we shouldn’t care about our family, children, and so on, but that, because we are so engrossed on our survival, we unintentionally overlook the task of refining our own character, which in reality is an essential aspect of personal and societal maturity.
Hence, we constantly toil and aspire to attain status, accumulate wealth, travel to exotic destinations, dine at the high-end restaurants, and collect rare and expensive effects hoping all these attainments will result in us becoming more happy and content in our own personal lives. While at the same instance, we develop biases toward the everyday simplest experiences and activities. We see these simplest occurrences as something ordinary, cheap, dull, and unremarkable. Hence, we think travelling to exotic places for vacations is always better than visiting one’s own back garden; that eating out at expensive restaurants is always better than the usual rice and vegetable dinner at home; that attending a concert is always better than spending quiet evenings at home; or that taking an adventure trip with group of friends is always better than spending time with one’s own family, who we see every day.
We’ve begun to seek happiness and joy in such transient and fleeting events that we take many things for granted that are essential to leading a meaningful and content life. No doubt, as our society transitions into modernity, our lives and our happiness become contingent on us being able to satisfy such material desires. As such, the more we are enthralled in attaining such desires, centered on momentary material pleasure, the more difficult it becomes for us to realize joy and happiness in our own lives; and so we become more frustrated. In our quest to “Not Miss Out on Life,” we constantly seek to experience ‘the exciting,’ ‘the expensive,’ ‘the luxurious,’ and ‘the exotic.’ We feel disappointed and wail over the fact that we have “Missed Out on Life,” when in reality we actually haven’t. We feel less significant and even embarrassed that others have experienced such exciting occasions—such as travelling, dining at high-end restaurants, attending concerts, etc.—and, hence, we feel they must be happy; while we come to an erroneous conclusion that, until we experience and do the same things as others, we cannot be happy nor can we find any joy because we are missing out on so many things in life.
What has happened, and what is actually happening in our own Naga society, is that we have failed to appreciate and take for granted what is at hand, what is presently available to us. A life’s experience may indeed look very simple and trivial such as eating an apple, having long chats with one’s grandparents, playing with one’s nieces and nephews, taking a nap in a garden on a hot summer’s day, doing household chores, helping the needy, watching the geese float by the pond, or watching the clouds lazily amble along the sky; these activities may neither look exciting nor exhilarating, yet they are the source of some of life’s greatest joys and some of life’s most satisfying events. If duly reflected, these sorts of activities may be among the most satisfying moments we can experience in life because of their simplistic and modest nature that makes them freely and readily available to all. Hence, the maxim, “There is beauty in simplicity,” verily describes the significance of finding joy, happiness, serenity, and meaning in life’s simplest and inconspicuous moments.
Finding meaning, happiness, and serenity in life can hardly be found in ephemeral events invariably increasing our endless needs to satisfy our equally limitless desires. This is why we put in a lot of effort in order to experience the exciting, the posh, and the affluent. We are let to a fallacious realization that we can only attain happiness if we follow the trend, the vogue: dine out at expensive restaurants, buy the latest vehicles, build a fashionable house, live in a posh neighborhood, travel to new and exotic destinations, wear branded clothes, and live a lifestyle as seen in advertisements and on television screens. We believe that we must live our life as a life lived by our ‘cool’ friends and relatives, who are living an exciting and fun-filled life; otherwise, we feel that we truly cannot find happiness. We feel that we should follow the trends of others so as not to be left behind or missed out on life. We voluntarily pressure ourselves to like and do certain things and follow certain trends because everyone approves of them. While, at the same time, we do not pursue things we love because it is not approved by others. And, we think, because things we like are not in agreement with everyone, we must acquiesce to the prevailing trends approved by others.
In trying to keep up with the trend we unconsciously become self-absorbed and selfish. In such conditions, who has time for self-cultivation of one’s nobler character? It is essential to recognize that we cannot wait for others to approve all the things we love and are enchanted by. We must allow ourselves to love and be enchanted by things that are charming and pleasant to us, in the simplest sense, even if these are not approved by other. We must follow our own liking and joy even though others may not approve of them. Remember, life’s greatest joy can neither be found in the “approval of others” nor in the lavish. Rather it is to be found in the simplest of life’s modest moments and unassuming activities. For it is only in these simplest moments that we experience the sublimity of life. And in experiencing the sublime, we realize the meaning to our lives and find happiness.
In appreciating the simplest life experiences, we refine our character. We refine the nobler aspects of our own humanity, for the simplest life’s activities reveal some of our most profound idiosyncrasies. They help bare all that is human in us and express all that is required to cultivate the foibles in our own character. Life’s modest activities elevate us high above the temporality of our parochial existence by unadulteratedly revealing some of the most profound truths about ourselves. These simplest activities divulge us valuable life lessons: for instance, having long chats with one’s grandparents teach us to be sympathetic and compassionate to the experiences of others; playing with one’s nieces and nephews instills in us important lessons on caring, patience, understanding, and unconditional love; taking a nap in a garden on a hot summer’s day makes us realize that to be alive is itself a fortune; doing household chores teach us the significance of sharing responsibilities and the virtues of love; helping the needy makes us realize not to complain about the problems in our own lives when there are people who are in worst situation than us; watching the geese float by the pond makes us realize how we unfairly discount much of nature’s beauty all around us; or watching the clouds lazily amble along the sky teaches us the importance of reflecting on our own lives and rectify the faults in our own character.
These inconspicuous life’s activities aid us to make simplest of changes in our own character. This way, the simplest of changes not only refine our nobler aspects but also usher in a larger change in the society. Certainly, I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t care about the realities of life; rather despite our selfishness, our vengefulness, our corruptness, and our deceptive nature, we should continue to reflect on the simplest moments of life for they instill in us a realization of life’s sublimity with a clairvoyant insightfulness about the warmth and affectionate kindness which we all are capable of.
