My name is Duthrupu and I run 5 km every-day! Because it helps me think and I enjoy it. I run because I also don’t like doctors. I also celebrate my birthday every year – as if it is my greatest achievement, though I did nothing to have it.
When I was younger I used to play with the rice over my meal, making it into a ball and then gulping it down like a python. No caring mom likes that! And I always ended up asking her to get me a glass of water. She would always keep a bucket under my bed so that I could wee wee without having to get out of bed. She knew i was afraid to go out at night (the reason being Satan:-p), so she would tell me “Jisukikube” (There is power in Jesus; in chakesang dialect), I would recite that to myself whenever I felt insecure.
If I were prodded awake in the middle of the night and were asked right at that point “What is a mother?” I would say “Empathy”- with no second thoughts. I always have my reservations against Fathers when it comes to empathy. Oh! andthe best part is when mom would come and stop dad whilst I was getting sticks; I always liked that feeling of being saved.
People have already written reams about love, Mothers, empathy… but still… I will try to be a different fish here.
Is paid work the highest and the greatest work? We do measure work in terms of pay, and we do that a little too much. That is why we, many times fail to honour our mothers. Physics quantifies work in terms of displacement i.e. results. You see, Physics defines ‘work’ better than us. Work is such a necessity in man’s life without which, the Gita says (not me),life loses all importance and ceases to exist. Work is something without which we cannot live and the greatest of such work is done by a mother – not always paid, but more often causing pain – to her. Yet, she always gives more than what she receives -like it is automatic. She doesn’t consider it pain. There is no kind of work that a mother cannot do!
Rudyard Kipling called Calcutta “the city of dreadful nights”. Nehru called it “a nightmare city”. Yes, it’s true. Now take a dig at what Mother Teresa once said when she worked in Calcutta:- “Being unwanted is the worst disease any human being can ever suffer”. Can you see her empathy? A man once went to the District collector to complain that Mother Teresa was converting the sick into Christians. But when the DC visited her, he found her treating a man with sores. The place was stenching, awfully stenched, but it was nothing, for her, compared to the pain the man was suffering. Mother Teresa had no biological children, but she is still called Mother! Paul of the Bible never had children but still was a father to Timothy. A contradiction? Superficially yes but no. It is the value.
Everybody is alive today or had a life because there was a mother and a father. God created mankind to complement each other. Either can never evolve to a point where they do not need each other anymore. If God has given men muscles, He has given women the binding force of love. It is the greatest force that ever existed. Oh, but make no mistake – it’s not like, men you take this, and women you take that. Everyone has received it.
People in the society generallysay: “When you look for a bride look at her mother first,” Is that the corollary of “Like father like son” thingy? I don’t know. Things may not be entirely true in themselves but I believe there’s a noteworthy point. We receive to a large extent,many of the qualities we have, from our mothers. We arewhat we are today because ofwhat our mothers have made of us.
Now, if a woman is ill-treated, teased, molested, discriminated etc. what would she teach her children? Sadly, most of our societies are patriarchal (largely through and by the evolution of culture), and history provesthat our society has been built on the foundational stone of patriarchy.
Also frankly(but sincerely), “love” has almost become a mere term used rather exclusively as a valediction in little acts. It was and is(still) rarely said aloud except in churches and text messages. We weren’t big on hugging our loved ones; or verbally saying ‘I love you son’ or ‘I love you dad/mom’- and we still aren’t for that matter. So, it was awkward for me when I realised that our society actually did not promote affection. Love, is almost absent in the family. Of course in any discussion like this we are to some extentplaying with semantics. Haven’t we defined love in such a way that we assume that to love is/means to show respect? Now, I am not saying that the Fathers or anybody is to be blamed. Consider this, one big reason we all became grownups is because we were surrounded by tough women of our society. Some people may want to ask me by now, what do you know about love? Maybe I don’t know much, maybe you’re right, maybe I haven’t tasted enough but that was not the point.
Being a mother is often a thankless, unappreciated job, until apparently, Mothers’ day comes around, no? Maybe we will all wish them a happy Mother’s Day only to soon forget it. That’s only natural. It’s the same with any other day for that matter. We are likePotemkin’s villages who act well only for a day, no!
Otherwise, if we are as good as we think(only if you think) we are, let’s value and promote the sentiments we have (but don’t show often) for our women (esp. mothers). *Someone already said that we hold our women in high esteem. It’s only true but doesn’t mean we can’t improve.* So what should we (us men) do then? Should I save some money and get her a gift? Should I recharge her phone? Should I cook more often? Should I start cleaning the rooms? Should I take her out to Australia? Should I wash her clothes?… I will leave it best to your imagination and introspection.
Again, my name is Duthrupu and I live because She worked!! That phrase should be worthy of your highlighter.
I do not know if this article appears before, on or after Mother’s Day; but I thoroughly give my wishes to all. A toast to all the mothers.
